The first time I heard the term MOTOtarded was at the Weapons Training classroom at Horno in Camp Pendleton (not sure if that’s the right name; there was aging stand and spoorpit right next to it, and we were right around the corner from the PX); I had to have someone explain it to me. Back then I had no idea what moto was, or why you made fun of it. That was where I saw a Marine NCO pitch an M249 into the unexpecting arms of the PFC who’d left it six paces away on a table, knocking him ass over appetite..I remember thinking, I can’t decide if that pisses me off (remember where I come from) or if I’m jealous I’m not allowed to do that back at my squadron. It was where I learned that Long Rifle (what we would call Range Control where I work) takes a great, appalling delight in f&$#ing over Marines who ought to be training instead of playing stupid pattycake games, and finally, it’s when I observed that the term Terminal Lance is something Marines who hold that exalted rank take a perverse pride in. Terminal Lance, the cartoon by Maximilian Uriarte, USMC, is an ongoing cartoon strip that captures the stupid vaguaries, assorted miseries and occasional mysteries (like the fascination of phallic artwork) of grunt life, while maintaining that strange delight Marines (particularly non-POGs) take in just how miserable their lives are…and just how bad they know the Corps is going to screw them. I think it’s hilarious, and I only have some outside observation and the stories of my friends and brother to go by. If you’ve ever been (or are) a gyrene, or a green-side corpsman, particularly if you were in a grunt battalion, I am confident you will love Terminal Lance.
If you are or were assigned to Long Rifle (unless things have changed) I really think you have some explaining to do. Seriously, what part of We’re at war do you not understand? Those boys need your cooperation, not your attitude and interference.
Oh, and if you like Terminal Lance, maybe buy a copy of his book.
Warning: Language. Innuendo. Deal with it.
Terminal Lance is hard to beat, but if you’ve got a sense of humor and you’re a grunt, you might just get a kick out of the game reviews over on Under the Radar…they’re looking for feedback on the different FPS reviews (like the Battlefield 3 Campaign) from those of you who actually lay down hate on insurgents and Muj professionally. Anyway, check back every weekend for Sunday Funnies like Jenny and Me: if you want to see more of them, or if you have some suggestions, send them our way. We’re always looking to spread the word, particularly if it’s written/drawn/made/manufactured by someone in the military. No wank sock companies, please. Even Kit Up! has its limits (and we know how grunts are).