The Most Infantry Man in the World

The_Most_Infantry_Man_In_The_World3

This isn’t about kit of any kind, though this poster shows the Gruntworks appreciation for the finer things in life.

Gruntworks is a relatively new Facebook page with a great perspective on things. They’re laying the groundwork for some kick a$$ apparel, decals and morale patches in the future and they have an obvious love of country all mixed in with a suitably gungy sense of humor. You’re cleared hot to check ’em out. Tell them the Mad Duo sent you. Don’t use a lot of big words.

Meanwhile, here are a few public service announcements from Gruntworks. With your help Gruntworks will…

Honor the Fallen | Continue the Mission

CHARLIE MIKE!

About the Author

The Mad Duo
Richard Kilgore and Jake Call enjoy something of a celebrity status among action figures and 1/1 scale trigger-pullers alike. They are world renowned for their wit, objectivity, keen tactical insight and utter lack of exaggeration or hyperbole. They leverage tens of thousands of hours of training and operational experience to the betterment of all mankind (and shooters). When not saving helpless school children from terrorists, rescuing damsels in distress and removing insurgents from the gene pool, they write, blog and support single dancing moms one dollar bill at a time. This provides much needed wisdom and perspective to the vast community of trigger-pullers that so desperately hungers for it. You can reach them at BreachBangClear.com or FaceBook.com/MadDuo if you're not a SISSY.
  • Mike

    I slept under a poncho liner for 33 months…Robert Heinlein was right: “Happiness consists of getting enough sleep. Nothing more.” I miss my poncho liner…

  • Mike

    He can briefly glance at a 1:50000 topographical map…and and find his and the enemy’s pos. with a 10-digit coordinate…then call in a fire mission. He is the most Infantry Man in the World…

  • Glenno

    The battle weary lines on his face are the contours on the map of his soul. He is the most Infantry Man in the World.

    • Larry

      Outstanding Glenno!

  • majrod

    Cool!

    Happiness IS a poncho liner!

  • Rick

    “His hat size is 7.62.”
    I almost fell out of my chair laughing.

  • APAC

    LOVE THEM!!! Where can we get a box load? the cartoon looks like SGT Rock the old comic book soldier. Notice: no women in the Infantry for him, unless they are rented or REMFs!!

  • xcalbr

    the best thing invented since sliced bread.

  • Byron Skinner

    I remember back in Nam 1966 and we got our first issue of poncho liners. They were gifts from the gods. Never used it line a poncho, we made hooches out of ponchos, but lay ones head on a rolled up flak jacket and wrap you body in a poncho line is heaven.

    ALLONS,
    Byron Skinner
    11th. Cav. 11B, C Troop.

  • Ranger Tom

    Smoke ’em if you got’em………..

  • jim

    Definitely a tricked missed by us Brits, not an issue item but coveted by many and owned by most.

  • Larry

    I still have and use mine from the 80’s, one in tan and one in woodland.

  • Chad

    He smokes ’em even when he doesn’t got ’em. He is the Most Infantry Man In The World.

  • craig

    Haven’t laughed that hard in awhile!

  • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

    Mad Duo-

    Many and sincere thanks from the Gruntworks team for helping us spread the word and honor the fallen. We’ll do our best to live up to the praise you’ve given us. You two are are absolutely the baddest plastic miniature people we know. We’re big fans.

    To the rest of you, we invite you to come see us. We have a lot of fun and interaction on the page. Join in!

    “He qualified expert on the M-60 range- with his bayonet.”
    He is the Most Infantry Man in the World

    Ruck Up,

    Chop and Jinx

  • Manty01Actual

    He Actually Uses His Left Handed Screwdriver, on His Right Foot! He Is The most Infantry Man in the World! Man, I can’t really share it here, kind of inappropriate, but I think back and wonder how many planetary offspring were sired upon or under that poncho liner……

  • R3D R3IGN S1X

    Outstanding! I love ’em! We should hand them out like ‘Challenge’ coins!

    • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

      Hmmm….I like the sound of that.

      Tell me more.

      Jinx | Gruntworks

    • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

      Hmmm….I like the sound of that.

      Tell me more.

      Jinx | Gruntworks

  • EOD Bombbuster

    His mother delivered him on the side of a dirt road in the middle of a 20 mile ruck….He finished that march. He is the most infantry man in the world.

    • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

      Bombuster,

      That’s a winner. We’ll be adding that one to the list. How can we credit you?

      Jinx | Gruntworks

      • EOD Bombbuster

        My name is Cayle Harris. Crap, now I’m going to owe a round. Oh well, such is the price fame (unless you’re willing to use a fake name).

        EOMFD

        • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

          Rounds complete, Bombuster.

          If you’d prefer we didn’t then we’ll reluctantly take all the credit.

  • Chad

    If he smoked you, you would put it as a bullet point on your NCOER. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World.

  • James

    He once put out a fire….with Napalm. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World.

    • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

      “Like!”

  • Sgt Maj

    He doesn’t call for Arty, Arty calls for him.
    He is the most infantry man in the world

    • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

      Sgt Maj,

      [parade rest] That one is actually in the queue already. Great minds!

      Jinx

  • James

    He and Chuck Norris fought once…and only once because Chuck Norris learned his lesson. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World.

    • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

      Chuck keeps a poster of him in his bedroom.

      • gipb

        and Chuck looks under his bed at night for him…

        • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

          “LIKE”

  • Dan d’Errico

    I still have two poncho liners. My wholefamily including the dog loves ’em. Up here in AK you need ’em 365 (all year round for you REMFs). My wife might bury me in mine.

  • gipb

    perfect

  • leftoftheboom

    He still shaves with a bayonet..to sharpen it. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World.

  • y.oa

    Terminator tried to assassinate him.

    ONCE.

  • Mikey

    He doesn’t sleep. He waits. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World.

  • Will

    R Lee Ermey steps out of his way…..He is the Most Infantry Man in the World

  • http://mctorres552@msn.com Moe Torres

    Get some

  • http://MSN Moe Torres

    Get some, i hope this sight isnt for sissys

  • Will

    His boot size is your ***…. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World

    • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

      Oh yeah. This one just made the list.

      Jinx

  • Will

    His favorite meal is roasted toad with sweaty boot juice….. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World

  • Byron Skinner

    The Infantry are treated like cr** in Garrison, every sh** detail come their way. Out pin the bush the Infantry is the Queen of the battle. Some talk about being at the point of the spear, the true light infantry get poked on the a** by the tip of the spear and some HQ puke Major is feeling to keep movie’.

    Then when you come home every support/service sh** head is sporting a CIB, and a PUC, some even have the balls to wear the blue cord and disks. Of course there is always the night time blanket party to resolve who can and can’t wear the CIB.

    ALLONS,
    Byron Skinner
    11B Vietnam.

  • Jerry Johnson

    He puts a bayonet on his flamethrower! He is the Most Infantry Man in the World!

  • joe

    He ***** slapped his SgtMaj once for being a POG

  • Mike W.

    On long ruck marches he gives his boots blisters. He is the most Infantry Man in the World.

  • Mike W.

    When he plays gay chicken his opponents swear off women forever…

  • Victor B.

    Grenades dive out of the foxhole when he climbs in. He is… the most infantry man in the world.

  • Victor B.

    The rest of the unit is organic to HIM, on the TO&E. He is… the most infantry man in the world.

  • Mike W.

    He has divorced three strippers and is now receiving 75 percent of their combined retirement incomes. He is the most Infantry Man in the World

  • Mike W.

    Once, while running a combat outpost and subsisting on nothing but MREs he went four months without a single bowel movement. Eventually he took a **** and produced Wurtzite Boron Nitride (which is harder than diamonds) and two second lieutenants – simultaneously creating the strongest, and weakest things known to man.

  • Jim S.

    He can ranger roll an ACH. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World.

  • joe

    He ***** slapped his SgtMaj once for being a POG

  • Mike W.

    It’s called, “The Six Day War” only because it took him five days to get there. He is, the most Infantry Man in the World

  • Mike W.

    His P.T. test consists of only two events, Kicking ***, and Taking Names. He is, the most Infantry Man in the world.

  • JG

    When he was born, the doctor circumcised him with a bayonet. He is the most Infantry Man in the World.

    His sweat can be used as weapon lube. He is the most Infantry Man in the World.

  • Mike W.

    He is the only Paratrooper that routinely jumps HANO (High Altitude, No Opening). A parachute would only slow him down. He is, the most Infantry Man in the world.

  • defensor fortissimo

    His idea of winning hearts and minds consists of 2 to the head and one in the chest. He is… the most infantry man in the world

  • Andrew Mitchell

    I still have mine from ’67-’68. Been washed so many times you can almost see through it. Once in a while put it on bed and on those nights I sleep real good!

  • Mike kaminski

    Dames buy him beers , he is ” The most infantry man in the world “…….You found tracer paint because he ordered you to , he is ” the most infantry man in the world”

  • Long Thrust VI

    These are GREAT! Hopefully, they’ll be kept available for those of us less creative.

  • nbg2d

    His grenade, is two lbs of c-4 inside a roll of barbwire.

  • nbg2d

    When he jumps, the aircraft feels the opening shock.

  • Doc G

    he has confirmed kills with an M1……canteen cap ……He is the most infantry man in the world

  • Mike W.

    He once advised the FDA, the food pyramid now includes only Coffee, Copenhagen, Beer, Bourbon and Bacon. He is, the most Infantry Man in the world.

  • Mike W.

    While attending SERE, his interrogators received counseling statements for telling him everything they know. He is, the most Infantry Man in the world

  • Mike W.

    He once field stripped an M-1 Abrams Main Battle Tank using only a Leatherman and his Kung-Fu grip. He is, the most Infantry Man in the world.

  • Greg G.

    He qualifies expert, evertime, even though he has never been assigned a weapon or ammunition. He is, the most Infantry Man in the world.

  • Doc Ras

    -His ribbon rack has more oak leaves than your backyard in autumn …

    -He never gets the Veggie Omelet MRE…

    -He can zero his M16 with only one round…

    -He scored 40 on his last qualification, despite the fact that he was shorted
    two rounds…

    -On his last PT test he scored 300, in each event…

    -He corrects the Sergeant Major of the Army on his Class A’s….

    -The star chamber of his rifle has no carbon…

    -He is the only man to ever be awarded the Gold Star medal with V device…

    His DD214 is 3 volumes long…

    He is, the Most Infantry Man in the World.

  • Jody

    He has been killed in action on every front. Each time, he has locked St. Peter at parade rest and demanded return to duty status. He is the most Infantryman in the world.

  • Sean

    He once killed a squad of Taliban with an MRE spoon and a package of skittles
    He is, the Most Infantry Man in the World

    • gipb

      LOL… that SHOULD make the list! this thread is so much fun!!!

      • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

        I am scribbling furiously….

  • Mike kaminski

    Whatever he is doing…”IS Standard Operating Procedure” he is The most infantry man in the world

  • russell liston

    His blood type is OD Green, He’s the Most Infantry Man in the world.

    • gipb

      this one needs to make the list!

  • LTC (Retd) John T. D

    Thoroughly funny and enjoyed. I wore the “Idiot Sticks” for 28 years and am proud of them.

    • majrod

      HAHA, “idiot sticks” hadn’t heard that in a decade.

  • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

    Mike, that one made me laugh out loud.

    We just put it on the list.

    Jinx |Gruntworks

  • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

    Doc Ras- you’re a natural. Quit your day job.

    • Mike W.

      Holy ****- that made me spit up my beer. Classic !

    • Doc Ras

      I came up with these at work, your tax dollars hard at work!

  • http://opencarry.org MSG John Laigaie

    He once had a medal pinned on…….by Chuck Norris

  • Jody

    He passed sniper school with open sights and a ghillie suit made of reflective belts…He’s the most Infantryman in the world.

  • Jody

    He’s scored a 300 on the APFT and a 40 out of 40 rifle qualification-at the same time…He’s the most Infantryman in the world.

  • Sean

    He gets care packages from your mom…..He’s the Most Infantryman in the World

  • RJFlorida

    I still have the 2 poncho liners my Father used in Vietnam. He beat them up for 3 years, I beat them up for the next 42 and they still look new today.

  • OIF Goose

    His dog tags need no silencers on them, they are too afraid to make any noise…He’s the Most Infantryman in the World

  • Greg G

    When he steps on a mine, it implodes out of respect. He’s the Most Infantryman in the World

  • Greg G

    **** week at BUDS is based on his personal workout, and it’s still too easy. He’s the Most Infantryman in the World

  • OIF Goose

    He wears no medals, the medals wear him…He’s the Most Infantry Man in the World

    • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

      BOOM!

    • majrod

      That’s a top five!

  • OIF Goose

    His version of Close Air Support is destroying enemy anti-aircraft sites…He is the Most Infantry Man in the World

  • Ripper 04

    He digs a fighting hole every night so he has a place to bury the enemy dead in the morning. He is the Most Infantryman in the World

  • EOD Bombbuster

    His birth mark looks exactly like a CIB….He is the most infantry man in the world.

    When he kills Taliban fighters, they donate their virgins to him out of respect for his awesomeness….He is the most infantry man in the world.

    • OIF Goose

      His birthmark IS the CIB!

      Great post about the virgins!

  • SfcHovis

    God had two sons, one to preach peace, the other to enforce it: He is the most Infantryman in the World

  • Maz

    If he ever got cold, he’d just curl up in his Ranger Tab: He is the most Infantry Man in the World

  • Joe

    When he was born, he slapped the doctor, took away the scapel, and cut his own umbilical cord. He is the Most Infantryman in the World.

    Loved this. Only problem I have with poncho liners is that they put me to sleep immediately. HOOAH!

  • SpentRound

    He sees you coming before you got up this morning. He’s the Most Infantry Man in the World.

    • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

      Man, he IS pretty bad ***.

  • The Chop

    His home address is Omaha Beach. He vacations in the Ia Drang. He’s the Most Infantry Man in the World.

  • Sean

    He once went on patrol in Afghanistan wear nothing but a thin coat of CLP and a beard.
    He’s the Most Infantryman in the World

    • Sean

      oops! wearing

  • Sean

    He was the guy who shot Bin Laden, but for security reasons they omited the fact that the weapon used was a slingshot loaded with green jolly ranchers
    He’s the Most Infantryman in the World

  • Sean

    He wrote the FM on hand to hand combat, then he rolled it up tightly and killed 3 insurgents with it.
    He’s the Most Infantryman in the World

  • straps

    EPIC. Thanks.

  • Will

    He lights his cigarrettes with a flame thrower…. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World.

  • Sean

    He’s the only member of the military that wears the “Bad Mother******” tab.
    He’s the Most Infantryman in the World

  • Will

    When he smokes, he swallows the ashes and doesn’t exhale…. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World

  • Will

    The Jedi teach his fighting style…. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World

  • Will

    He’ll make you ask him to choke you harder…. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World

  • Sean

    His real name is CHARLIE MIKE
    He’s the Most Infantryman in the World

  • Will

    He’ll drink your beer, eat your dog, and your woman will follow him out the door…. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World

  • Will

    He bleeds blue, and ***** in cadence…. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World

  • Will

    Mohamed Ali had boxing gloves made out of his combat boots…. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World

  • Sean

    SOCOM created a Jedi Knight team just for him.
    He’s the Most Infantryman in the World

  • Sean

    He has more confirmed kills than the Enola Gay
    He’s the Most Infantryman in the World

  • SFCMyers

    He once wiped out a company of VC with only his compass, shooting azimuths. He is the most Infantry Man in the World.

  • http://nocducme@comcast.net C Christensen

    In 1954 I had a SFC tell me he was the richest NCO in any country in the world. He made $246 a day. One day a month. Liked to sleep out in Alaska with no bag, no tent, winter or summer. Ended up guarding the unknown soldier. May not have been the most Infantry Man in the world, but when the top ten get together, he’ll answer as “present”.

  • Doc

    In 1971 I “bought” two poncho liners from an ARVN bloke for a carton of ciggies each. I’ve pic-niced on them, made love on them, played with my kids on them, played with my grand-kids on them, and now use them for as warmers in front of the TV on winter nights. God bless the Yank who invented them, the man was a genius.

  • Jay

    When he calls “Contact right!” The enemy apologizes. He is the most Infantry Man in the World.

  • Moon

    He field strips a cig with his teeth….H I T M I M I T W

  • BillAK

    Every member of our family has a poncho liner (including those that marry in)
    Camping on the beach in hawaii a poncho liner and an air mattress are all you need!!
    As somebody said above here in Alaska where we LIVE they are usefull 365, especially stuffed inside your sleeping bag winter camping.
    I went on a guided elk hunting trip in WY years ago and my guide was so impressed by it I gave it to him at the end of the trip as part of his TIP. He was very appreciative.

  • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

    Nice

  • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

    Clever, SFCMeyers. Very clever.

    Jinx | Gruntworks

  • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

    You guys are seriously funny and creative. We’re copying these down. Keep ’em coming!

    At some point we’re going to compile the best into a daily calendar.

    Jinx

    Gruntworks
    “Ruck Up & Charlie Mike”

  • knIVes

    **** stars ask him for His autograph…… H I T M I M I T W

  • Will

    Superman has him on speed dial….. He is the Most Infantry Man in the World

  • http://Military.com Msg. Franklin Thomas

    This sounds like “SGT Rock of Easy Co.” love them comic books as a kid.

  • Tom

    He has 10 confirmed kills with the M.I.L.E.S.

    He carries a P38 (can opener) as a side arm..He is the most infantry man in the world.

  • Sean

    He has a two point sling for a 50. cal
    He’s the Most Infantryman in the World

  • Sean

    He completed his last ruck march in shower shoes.
    He’s the Most Infantryman in the World.

  • sandman13usmc0351

    He wasn’t born, he was government issued. The most infantry man in the world

  • Jody

    He’s had a camouflage pattern permanently tattooed on his face…He is the most Infantryman in the world.

  • Jody

    He’s healed a sucking chest wound by spitting Copenhagen juice into it…He is the most Infantryman in the world.

  • Jody

    After his entire Platoon was wiped out in a fire fight, he made another platoon using nothing but 500 cord,100 MPH tape, and empty MRE pouches…He is the most Infantryman in the world.

  • Jody

    EDIT- I meant 550 cord…

  • Jody

    I think this one is my favorite.

  • Jody

    I have a German Shepherd Dog named Jake-he is, for lack of a better term, a chainsaw with ears. I have to routinely fight him for my poncho liner, and I’m not talking about play fighting…blood has been drawn over the issue…even dogs know that poncho liners are the bee’s knees.

  • Charlie W

    His stare can dig a fighting position so he uses his e-tool for a pillow
    He Is The Most Infantry Man In The World

  • Charlie W

    His nostrils are rifled. He Is The Most Infantry Man In The World

    • http://www.facebook.com/gruntworks11b Jinx

      Charlie, that’s a winner. Adding to the list.

      Jinx | Gruntworks

  • Grahambo

    His knife hand, is beltfed.

  • SleepyDave

    When he takes a ****, friendly forces conduct a BDA.

    • gipb

      LOL…

  • crackedlenses

    He doesn’t need snow-shoes, he just wraps his feet in razor wire.

    He is the Most Infantry Man in the World…..

    • Greg G

      All his non combat decorations have ‘V’ devices. He is the most Infantryman in the world.

  • sandman13usmc0351

    He ***** slapped chesty puller for having only 5 navy crosses.
    He is the most infantry man in the world.

  • H.A. Stolarz

    Actually, it took him five days, twenty-three hours and fifty-nine minutes to get there.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mostinfantryman Jinx

    Here ya go, men.

    The Most Infantry Man in the World has his onw Facebook page now. http://www.facebook.com/mostinfantryman

    Submit his exploits there for the daily calendar we’re putting together.

    Ruck Up and Charlie Mike!

    Jinx | Gruntworks

  • john g.

    He geocaches… with a sundial.

  • majrod

    Happy Birthday US Army! (Special shout to the Infantry) Ten companies of riflemen were authorized by a resolution of the Continental Congress on June 14, 1775. Today marks 237 years of sticking the bayonet between the enemy’s 2nd & 3rd rib! Follow Me!

  • charlie 8

    Iron mike asked him for directions … once and were stil following him

  • majrod

    Tanks move into action behind HIM….he is the Most Infantry Man in the world.

  • Lewis

    He has a tattoo on his chest that reads “FRONT TOWARDS ENEMY.” He is the Most Infantry Man in the World.

    Chesty Puller would salute him first; he is the Most Infantry Man in the World.

    His “page 11” is fifteen pages long; he is the Most Infantry Man in the World.

    He broke his metatarsals the day before graduating from Ranger School so he could be recycled; he is the Most Infantry Man in the World.

  • Paul

    That’s GOTTA make the list.

  • Paul

    Great!

  • Christine weber

    Just wanted you to know that “Gruntworks” is a trademarked name. You might want to look into it before continuing to use it and branding in your merchandise.

  • Bill

    He doesn’t do push ups…he pushes the world down. He is the most infantryman in the world.

  • Bill

    He dug an M60 fighting position using nothing but an MRE spoon….He is the most infantryman in the world.

  • Chucker

    -He calls in air and artillery strikes using hand signals.
    -His rank is unknown cause he does not need it.
    -He hunts tanks with a bayonet, but lately they all have all run from him.
    -At the age of seven, he told Patton what to do.
    -His drill Sargent is scared of him.
    -His poncho liner is a holy relic at the Infantry Museum.
    -Chuck Norris escape and evades him.

  • dane c

    skittles from an MRE

  • MSG

    When he takes a dump the privates must police up the brass. He is the most infantry man in the world.

  • nipit8

    He once opened up an enemy tank with with a p38 can opener…he is….The most infantry man in the world

  • Cody

    He can ranger-roll his Kevlar.

  • Mad Mex

    When he’s at a PZ, helicopters will not show up…until he finishes his mocha.
    The SUCK has been known to wave a white flag when HE approaches.

  • Mad Mex

    He has never had the need for a foxhole, yet he carries one big eough for the rest of his squad.
    His radio battery NEVER dies.

  • Mad Mex

    The SUCK embraces him…

  • Mad Mex

    He is the only man in history of Ranger school never to have fallen asleep…

  • Mad Mex

    His backup weapon is an M-60… which he carries in a thigh holster…
    When he goes for a 10 mile run, he will occasionally slow down… just so his clothing will catch up…

  • Mad Mex

    When he comes home from the field, first thing he does is get something to eat. Second thing he does is “take care” of the wife. Third thing he does is take off his ruck. He is The Most Infantry Man in the World.

  • Mad Mex

    He spit shines his boots by walking in mud.
    Sergeant Majors run the opposit way when he approaches them on post.

  • Mad Mex

    He walks into the Officer’s Club just to make them jump.
    He once got lost in the woods, just to see what it felt like.

  • Mad Mex

    Moonlight will not shine on him, in order to provide him with concealment.
    The sun has been known to come out later, when he is ready.

  • Todd

    His mother is named Deuce. He is the most infantry man

  • JESullivan

    GOD loves him… or else he could not CHARLIE MIKE!

  • H0M3RC1D4L

    He won a poker tournament using nothing but range cards…