The Hellion from Zombie Tools LLC

"The Hellion" from Zombie Tools, LLC

An undead apocalypse is a very dramatic hypothetical, which often leads people to think theatrically when assembling their zombie survival gear.  But if real-world anarchy ever comes to your neighborhood, you may regret choosing your Lord of the Rings elf sword as a home defense weapon.  That’s where Zombie Tools, LLC comes in; this Montana-based company creates wicked-looking hand weapons that also have American-made industrial strength.  Their robust cleaving blades are 5160 Spring Steel and up to 1/4″ thick, allowing them to hack into some really hard targets.  Now you can look like Conan without becoming Dilbert on Judgement Day.

Check out these videos to see a comparison of the theatrical and the practical.  The first is the classic failure of a QVC prop sword; the second shows the guys from Zombie Tools chopping a truck hood in half with a blade they call “The Deuce.”

Pat Kilbane is best know for his three-year run on Fox’s Mad TV, though many remember him as “the anti-Kramer” in the Seinfeld episode “The Bizarro Jerry.”  Also a writer, Pat spent two years under contract with Dreamworks developing science-fiction concepts for television, and recently authored The Brain Eater’s Bible, a zombie field manual available in hardcover from Amazon and as an iPad app from the iTunes Store.

 

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