Kit Up Zombie Ops: Nasty Anti-Zombie Blades

The Hellion from Zombie Tools LLC"The Hellion" from Zombie Tools, LLC
The Hellion from Zombie Tools LLC

"The Hellion" from Zombie Tools, LLC

An undead apocalypse is a very dramatic hypothetical, which often leads people to think theatrically when assembling their zombie survival gear.  But if real-world anarchy ever comes to your neighborhood, you may regret choosing your Lord of the Rings elf sword as a home defense weapon.  That’s where Zombie Tools, LLC comes in; this Montana-based company creates wicked-looking hand weapons that also have American-made industrial strength.  Their robust cleaving blades are 5160 Spring Steel and up to 1/4″ thick, allowing them to hack into some really hard targets.  Now you can look like Conan without becoming Dilbert on Judgement Day.

Check out these videos to see a comparison of the theatrical and the practical.  The first is the classic failure of a QVC prop sword; the second shows the guys from Zombie Tools chopping a truck hood in half with a blade they call “The Deuce.”

Pat Kilbane is best know for his three-year run on Fox’s Mad TV, though many remember him as “the anti-Kramer” in the Seinfeld episode “The Bizarro Jerry.”  Also a writer, Pat spent two years under contract with Dreamworks developing science-fiction concepts for television, and recently authored The Brain Eater’s Bible, a zombie field manual available in hardcover from Amazon and as an iPad app from the iTunes Store.


  • JDsHandsomeSon

    Love their site’s homepage visuals and their end-of-days premises and philosophy. I’ve never been much of a blade guy, but wouldn’t mind one or two of their products.

  • Vincent

    Holy crap. That’s amazing. Especially when they stood on it and tried to bend it I went like ‘ahwhaaat?! how?!’
    If there ever is one, they’ll say ‘zombie apocalypse suffered from Zombie Tools’.

  • HalP

    Zombies or no zombies, I would have a lot of fun with that.

  • Moffdaddy

    Who is going to protect the Zoombies? If we kill all the undead, we will miss out of their unique perspective on the after-life. We should instead try to communicate with them…a job for Spock undoubt.

  • Brandon Webb

    Don’t exterminate..just cull the undead herd….

  • Ed

    We’ve been seeing a lot of zombie movies and other zombie things lately. Even the government has a zombie alert going on. It’s for the worst possible event that will happen. In the book Revelation in the Bible. It says there’s a time in the tribulation where you’ll pray to and death will flee from you. That sounds a lot like being a zombie. It would be very very terrible for this to happen. And I hate to admit it. But there’s a part of me that thinks that it would be pretty cool shooting them in the head. I mean there already dead, “RIGHT”! But then again, I wont be here. I’ll be gone in the rapture.

  • Pat_Kilbane

    That’s funny, Ed, I actually quote that same passage of Revelation (9:6) in my book! And I get what you’re saying about the excitement of a global cataclysm; one can imagine the adventure of it without actually wanting it to come to pass.

  • JDsHandsomeSon

    I’ve been prepping for some time now – arming up, stockpiling, etc. for the apocalypse. If our world somehow finds its way to peace and stability so that I live another 20 or 30 joyous and prosperous years without the opportunity to shoot zombies as they attempt to breach my wire, I will be very disappointed. All of my efforts and money spent will all have been for naught.

  • Carlos

    Time will tell. Mean time lets be careful,” He who lives by iron dies by iron.”

  • Poonjabas

    Vikings will go on about their raiding campaigns as though modern civilization never even happened. It will be funny to see all the fake ruffians (like gang bangers and machismo filled idiots) just get slaughtered like the whining children they really are.

  • Liam Athias Babingto

    quite frankly….these guys have never….EVER have been in a world of s**t. The blade looks like it could stand up to a lot of punishment…A question for Brandon….being of Native American Hertiage…WHY have you never learned about the gunstock warclub! Well here is a site IF you are up to it!!

    …and remember…bring toilet paper, you will need to clean up your mess later!! ( YUP A challange!!)